Woman’s Passions

When it comes to money, men tend to take more risks and don’t save for emergencies. Men use money as a scorecard and can struggle with self-esteem when there are financial problems.

Women tend to see money more as a security issue, so they will gravitate toward the rainy-day fund. Because of their need for security, ladies can have a level of fear - my wife, Sharon, calls it terror - when there are financial problems.

The most pressure-filled issue that surfaces in marriage counseling is broken trust and communication regarding money matters. Time and time again, pain and tears come from one spouse who has attempted to hide or unsuccessfully fix an uncontrolled spending habit. Everyone is susceptible to impulsive, unscheduled purchases, but when they become uncontrollable, it is difficult to admit there is a problem.

We often carry a problem from the past that dictates our behavior in the present.  For example, if we caused a loss of money by breaking expensive things, or losing some money our childhood, we might be afraid to deal with money now because we are afraid that we will lose the money that we are dealing with now.

Not dealing with the problem of our attitude towards money or lack of it is dealing with it in a bad way. It is very important to be able to differentiate and see if your attitude toward money or profit is based on facts or based on some feelings that you carry from the past.

Giving a Gift. Just what is a gift? It is the transfer of something, without the need of compensation that is involved in trade. A gift is a voluntary act which does not require anything in return. A gift is meant to be free. The term gift can refer to anything that makes the other happier or less sad. Send someone a Gift today! Send a Greeting Card with your gift.

Sometimes we have a partner in a relationship who constantly behaves as a victim and tries to present as a very positive personality.   Being positive and judging the other partner negatively is mirroring one’s own negativity with a lot of sugar coating.

A positive attitude toward money can be negative if it comes with judgment, or not accepting any other way.

If you are a miser living with a spendthrift nightmares can result. Resentment can build up. If you are a worrier living with someone with a devil may care attitude the mismatch may create friction.

Husbands and wives may have different goals and different fears. One may be paranoid about getting into debt the other may have no problem with loans and credit cards. He might want a flash car, she might want some money in the bank or he might want to retire early but she wants to spend it on the latest fashion or new carpets. He may think the new home cinema is a new asset to the home, she may see it as a boy’s toy. One of you may be more interested in having fun, the other in settling down, nesting and starting a family. If the differences are fundamental this can create conflict.

When emotions run high, people tend to make fiscal mistakes. Approach family finances as if you were running a business. If you put a business metaphor into the picture, you’d be surprised how much more methodical people are. Once kids and mortgages come into play — many couples find that merging all their finances is simply easier. But unless you’re both comfortable with the idea, there’s no need to rush things.

Financial hassles are the Number One stumbling block that keep so many of us from having the peaceful, loving, committed partnership that we all crave and deserve. Once you clear up your money problems, you’ll be surprised how many other seemingly unrelated problems will also quickly fade away.