Perhaps reading this article, some young women think: “Why do I need all these difficulties, may be I should not have children?”. However, we should not confuse cause and effect. Marital relationship deteriorates not because of childbirth, but because of pre-existing problems aggravation. Any stressful, difficult situation, including childbirth can become an impetus for this.

We receive letters from girls who have fear of pregnancy and related problems, such as toxaemia, excessive fullness, limited communication and activity, and so on. Such fears are likely to come from lack of confidence in one’s abilities to bear and raise a child. More often these fears affect women who had tense relations with their parents or their mothers told them how hard it was to give birth to a child, thus instilling in their children anxiety and fear. Maybe parents should tell their children how desirable they were, how they waited for their birth, thus instilling confidence in them, increasing their self-esteem. When a child has a negative scenario in his head, it is natural that, growing up, he will be afraid to repeat the same mistakes his parents made. If he treats his parents bad, then the same would be expected from his own children. In addition, strained relations with mother can interfere with a child’s identify with woman, in particular maternal role. Seeing mother as a weak, non-important family member, a girl will seek to identify herself with a stronger parent. Or, conversely, if mother is behaving too aggressively, growing up, a girl will be afraid to behave with her children just as aggressively. Moreover, this aggression is internal and can manifest itself in human actions, as well as in opposition to appearance, an endless desire to improve, low self-esteem.

One of patients told about how she was constantly abused and physically punished as a child, by parents, mainly her mother. She very much wanted to have her child, but at the same time, she was afraid to repeat the scenario of mother’s behavior, be as cruel to her children.

Psychotherapy has specially developed methods to cope with fear of pregnancy. With the help of psychotherapy one can change perceptions of traumatic situations from the past, remove emotional stress and thus solve the internal conflict, which previously gave rise to fears and anxiety concerns. Thus, in the process of working with this patient we were able to save her from negative experiences associated with early childhood traumas. We used such methods of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), as the technique of treatment of phobias, “Experience re-imprinting”, “Change of personal history”, “Reframing” and others. We also managed to sort out her disputes with husband, internal contradictions posed by fear of childbirth.

Instead of unnecessary anxiety, perhaps, during pregnancy it is better to rely on the very nature and good doctors. It is known that during pregnancy and after childbirth there happens hormonal alteration of an organism, and it is rejuvenated. If you approach this issue wisely, you’ll be able to avoid negative consequences for your body, such as varicose veins or overweight. It is better to think of the joy that comes to you with the birth of a baby. Indeed, children require a lot of time and effort, but there is probably nothing more beautiful to parents, than watching and being active participants in the daily miracle, when their child grows and develops the world around us.

Therefore we can not be in the thrall of our fears and anxieties, try to cope with family (as well as your own mind) problems before pregnancy and continue to quietly embarking on a fascinating journey.

There is a dispute between priest, pope and rabbi: “When does life begin?” - At the moment of conception, - says priest.

- At the moment of birth, - says pop.

- Oh, no, - says rabbi, - life begins when wife takes children and goes to the country.