Of course, everyone, regardless of familial status, heard about family life crises. There are different views on many of these crises, some psychologists name four, but our families mainly face 7 crises of family life.

Crisis is not the happiest time of our life together, but not always followed by a divorce. To prevent undesirable consequences, one must know causes of crisis and rules of the game in every situation.

1. Crisis of the first year.
This is the first and one of the most obvious and predictable crises. In the first year of married life there happens “grinding to each other”, a couple learns living under one roof, solve financial problems, and simply use one closet and bath before going to work, spend free time together, etc.

Causes of crisis: she gets up early, and he likes watching TV to 3 AM, and he spreads things, but she hates the mess, she takes a bath for two hours, but he is late for work because of this, on weekends she likes meeting with friends, but he needs a computer or a sofa and TV, they barely have enough money to pay for an apartment, and she buys new shoes, and there are plenty of reasons related solely to different habits and attitudes.

Young families particularly face housing and financial issues. Rent an apartment is expensive, and almost all income is spent on payment, but they still want to have fun and generally build own life. And if they begin taking help from parents, which is especially characteristic of young families, a husband does not feel a breadwinner, “a man” in his understanding, and it also often becomes an occasion for family quarrels.

Ways of overcoming the crisis: if people love each other, and intend to live “together until death parts”, then this crisis is overcome quite easily by finding compromises.

Above all, any sort of ultimatum: “If you do not depart from your computer - no sex for a week,” or the most popular phrase, it is the first permanent shadow of family conflicts: “If you do not like - let’s get divorced!” Think about it, because someone can say, “Come on!”. If you do not want to hear such answer, do not offer! Even if he / she says it is spur of the moment (what you will assure yourself of), and then you make peace, this will remain in memory, and emerge during next conflict!

In no case keep resentment, if you do not like something, it is necessary to solve this problem, or revise your attitude towards it. If you can not get your husband keeping things in one place, rather than scattering around an apartment, then you have 3 options to solve this issue: the first way - do this by yourself (but only if you really are not annoyed gathering his things), the second way - gently explain your loved one that you would be very happy if he could remove them every night in the cupboard (or other location where you want), the third way - saw him every day (and this is the shortest way to divorce!).

2. Crisis of three years.
This period of family life is crucial for your future. We can say that during this period largely determine whether you continue being together or not. Large % of divorces falls on this period. This is due to the fact that co-bedding has already taken place, wedding and honeymoon memories are far, money donated to wedding is over, parents stopped helping, which means only the two of you now decide all questions and problems, including financial.

Causes of crisis: Many say this period scatters illusions about each other, we see a man as he really is, not as he was in our dreams and plans. Family life also is not a succession of holidays and fun, and coffee in bed and flowers present now only on holidays. There’s routine, routine, routine. You begin to want something new or someone new - namely, baby! And parents begin putting pressure on you, friends give birth one after another, and everyone asks when you are going to start a family. And of course you are also not opposed, but .. your beloved popularly explains this is not the time, that you’re not ready, etc.

A man is engaged into an active career during this period, seeking financial well-being of your family. And, of course, he also sees all have children, but your, your family is still financially not ready for a baby, it costs terribly, and a man is trying to explain it, stumbling to tears, tantrums, accusations and a new phrase-spot of your conflict in response: “Why are they able to earn and you don’t? “or even worse -” You’re not a man! “. All work is done, you’re already half a step from the abyss called “divorce”.

Ways of overcoming the crisis: during this period you should come to remembrance that family is not you and he, family means you together. And all problems that arise should be resolved through mutual efforts. Yes, there’s an impression that a man should financially support his family, and his wife runs the house, but this idea has long been refuted by more sophisticated forms of family organization. And if you both work, then it would be great to organize a joint budget and form a sort of plan expenditure together, then the problem would be solved easier.

With regard to birth of children, it is important to understand that the desire should be mutual. And if your man is silent, does not propose having children, then he does not want to! And showing pictures, telling how happy your friends are bringing up a baby, buying magazines for parents are useless. Spare his and your own nerves. It is better to gently find out his views on birth of children, ie whether he plans them, and when.

If you love each other, it is necessary that you have common interests, and realizing them, you will be able to cope with the routine and continue building your happy and harmonious family life!

3. Crisis of firstborn.
Before childbirth, a woman is totally absorbed in pregnancy, after childbirth - in a child. Both during and after pregnancy, husband may feel abandoned, he receives less attention than before, now his wife is focused on other baby. There appears some jealousy, he lacks a woman’s caresses, and his wife, as a rule, does not to notice her husband’s experiences at this moment . He, in turn, is looking for something or someone that will give him an opportunity to be necessary, important, in the first place. Some men in this period begin seeking career goals, breaking out in the leaders, being number 1 at work. Naturally, this requires more time and some changes. A wife feels some uncertainty in this period, she is temporarily not working, and her appearance has changed somewhat, there appear doubts, suspicion, questioning husband, often false accusations and frequent quarrels.

Ways of overcoming the crisis: even during pregnancy, you should involve a husband in the process, showing he is not a passive observer, but active participant in the events. After childbirth, immediately drew a husband to show he is necessary and important and that this is your baby (not just a mother’s), play with him. Leave them alone more often, let him feeling how a pipsqueak loves him.

4. Crisis of return or exit maternity leave.
This crisis can happen at the end of maternity leave and return to an active social life. The crisis is fraught with wife’s betrayal. Reason - a desire of new sensations, to be not just a wife and mother, but a beautiful and desirable woman, and if she does not feel desirable with her husband, she begins looking on the sides.

Ways of overcoming the crisis: if a husband does not participate and help, try to explain you now have as much time as he does without quarrels, and it would be wonderful to share some responsibilities. Men should pay more attention to their wives as women, and praise her achievements not only on child-rearing and housekeeping, but on a professional career.

5. Crisis of monotonicity
This crisis may occur in the period of 7-9 years of family life. All is settled and there is a stable position: home, children, work, life, social circle. This is a period when today you can say what you will do in the coming months. No unexpected outburst, romance, everything is stable, as in a swamp. It’s like a coma.

Ways of overcoming the crisis: of course, all that is achieved - is a plus, but we must move on. We need to arrange surprises, both for husband and wife, some romantic trips, begin building a country house with a crazy interior you are now inventing with a husband. Anything from what you have never done before, but very much wanted, and always together.

6. Crisis of forties
This crisis is one of the most difficult. It is quite difficult to overcome, and this period, as the crisis of three years, faces a large% of divorces. This is due to the fact that 40 - is a kind of line, men and women sum up their life, half of which has already passed. If women can boast of childbirth, men are tortured with the question what they have created for 40 years.

Ways of overcoming the crisis: Many men think of another child, because right now they are able to provide him with all that they could not give in youth. Often in this period men can marry again and choose a much younger woman.

Overcoming this crisis is difficult. New and unexpected actions can create a feeling of youth. You can invent something together, create a block, or any network business, or implement any other idea.

7. Crisis of loneliness together.
Solitude together is probably the worst period in family life. This crisis may occur when children grow up and leave their parents. If love is long gone, and family friendship was not formed, the crisis may occur. If you are kept not only by children, but there are common interests, this time will not become a crisis, it could be a new upsurge in your family relationships. You can pay attention only to each other once again, travel a lot, and realize things you have not yet implemented for some reason.

Ways of overcoming the crisis: if the crisis still occurred, you should try to find points of intersection, because it is better to find anything at this stage, than destroy a family. Grandchildren often unite during this period. After all - we give grandchildren even more than children, grandchildren mean the second youth.

Crises of family life happen, but it is not a cause for despair. Everything can be overcome, the future of family boat is in our hands, it can be broken on life, and it may take a wonderful cruise on the sea of love, mutual respect, common hopes and achievements!