If you already know everything about ways of gaining a woman and conquering a man, if you are fed up of reading about ways to hold your husband or wife, then, may be, you would like this wise and interesting nonsense, which we offer you as a guide to action, to get rid of your hated husband or wife, finally
Well, tell us, woman, aren’t you fed up of this fat boy with piggy eyes and hairy arms, which is always lying in the same pose - on your sofa in front of TV, and turns to you occasionally only to fulfil his husbandly duties and call his minion?
Well, tell us, man, aren’t you fed up of this woman in a dressing gown, hair curlers and old slippers, which is always whimpering, growling, harassing your body, nervous system, financial possibilities and burning wish to relax after work?
Well, if only men would speak about their thoughts, when they see their chewing wife sitting near TV, then we could learn so many interesting things about women.
However, if he would look at himself, he would probably notice that he’s already not that curly-headed boy, now he looks more like a golf-ball.
But will he look at himself? Do you think so? Why bother oneself with such trifles? He’d better go shooting. So would she.
He (she) will comb his (her) grizzly hair, gather in stomach, fasten a prosthetic device, take a fake purse, remember a couple of banalities from all-suficient men’s and independent women’s vocabulary and will strike out boldly into uncharted sea to find Amazons and mustangs of city jungle and prairies.
But soon he (she) will understand that his (her) belly and matted hair, burned by last highlighting, are not highly thought of. And that his (her) purse is not tight-filled enough. And that everything has somehow changed in that world of live people, and nobody is attracted to cheap coup de theatre already.
He can be offended by such crying injustice, and will even pout, persuading that modern woman needs nothing, except high-quality vibrator in combination with tight-filled purse… And he’ll be right to some extent…
But men also want to have a wife, who will be an ever-young super-model with combined capabilities for washing, cooking, cleaning, service, satisfaction, intellectual and soul contact and disappearance, when it seems to him that she gets underfoot and is an eyesore to him.
Yes, it’s even surprising, what we can hear, if we start getting back at each other and countercharging.
It always seems to us that it’s not our fault that our family life is unsuccessful, but our partner’s. And it seems to us that we just have to get rid of a hated husband or wife, and a whole “regiment” of new candidates, which are ready to satisfy our requirements and provide us, will line up in front of us. Well, dream on! May be you’ll be lucky.
“Well, then how can I get rid of a hated husband?” - you will ask. That’s all there is to it. You just need to observe 4 rules. And it will seem to be the hell for him, which he would like to escape from sooner. So.
Rule # 1.
Never be grateful, never say “thank you, please and hello”, quite the contrary, use only rude words. Use slang, cant and jargon not only when you’re angry, but also during usual moments of your communication. In general, forget about all polite words your mother taught you, they are useless in family life. You know, you’re not sitting for an examination in etiquette, you’re just living and enjoying life. The way you are used to. And you don’t care about the one that is living with you. If he doesn’t like something, he can get out…
Rule # 2.
Quit this stupid habit to take a shower in evenings, brush your teeth, ears, shoes, folder of sent messages in your mobile, lavatory pan after long “sittings”, wash-bowl from toothpaste. In general, it’s better to stop looking after yourself completely. Your appearance, smells of your body and cloth, sounds you can utter. Don’t care about atmosphere in your house and the way you look at home, whether it’s pleasant to stay in one room with you, one bed, at one table. If they don’t like, they can go wherever they like. Think and act this way, and you will have a lucky divorce.
Rule # 3.
Forget about punctuality and obligations, i.e. that you need to come home in time, spend time with your family sometimes, come to a table when your wife calls you, not in an hour, wash up and put out the rubbish. But the main thing, forget bringing money home, wish your husband (wife) a happy birthday, walk with your dog, pick up your kid from a kindergarten and fulfil your bedroom duties. Forget to call, buy bread, give notice of your plans, take her (him) to a party, vacation, your friend’s place. Forget about him (her) more often. Don’t allow him relax.
Rule # 4.
Think only about yourself. Ignore your partner, like he doesn’t exist at all, don’t ask advice from him. Don’t talk to him, as he’s nobody for you. Disgrace him more often, rub his nose in everything, quarrel with his relatives, outrage them. Never help him, try to understand, appreciate his position. Why? He should pull through by himself. These are his problems. And your task is to shift off all your problems on your husband’s shoulders, so that he would not relax and could constantly demonstrate you his devotion and love through good behavior. You know, he’s created only for you, to make your life decent and beautiful. Well, you don’t care he’s sick now, you want him to stroke your belly, so tell him to do it, even if he’s in preinfarction angina. These are his problems. Why did he marry you, if he cannot be a decent husband? And yet, more metal in your voice. More strict notes. It helps a lot.
Well, we can invent lots of rules. But why? These ones will be enough to separate you for ever and make bitter enemies. But why do you need this? You will find same people in places, where you will rush after divorce, searching for your perfect match. Nothing more, nothing less. Just combed in other way, and with other eye-color. But in general, they have same arms and legs, and head is attached to neck, not to other famous place. So, think before you decide to get rid of old, well-known husband (wife), and set out in search of practically the same, but still unknown and already used by someone object. Should you torment yourself and bargain one trouble for another? Isn’t it better to look at yourself and try to change something in yourself?