What is behind men’s jealousy? Let’s try to understand.
Jealousy - What is it?
Is love a sublime feeling of chemical reaction? Is jealousy a pathology or natural condition of man’s body? To start let’s define some basic concepts. Let’s give the most general and neutral definition without complicated epithets and loud phrases like «fire, sizzling intellect».
Jealousy is an unpleasant feeling that arises when a potential rival appears close to the object of affection. And that opponent might be both real and imagined! Because this is a man’s jealousy, the feeling appears in a man.
Number of opponents - real or imagined - is directly-proportional to a woman’s attraction. A beautiful woman will always be an object of special attention, even regardless of targeted actions to achieve this result. In fact, the art of make-up and ability to dress plays not a central role in the conquest of man’s attention. Men look through cosmetics and clothing. Isn’t it? Confess. Be honest to the end.
Zeal of the type «I’ll kill both» is too much. Is it worth descending to illegal actions?
Is it worth maintaining close relations with a man, prone to aggression? As a rule, people of this type sooner or later find excuse to “render justice”. And they are the main reason - their permanent arraignment on skirt length, lipstick color, length of trips to girlfriends can plunge into a state of depression - and create a woman’s desire to find calm love, trust, giving and not demand.
If your husband is modern Otello, you should better forget about friends-men forever - for your own safety. Even if this man pays all your expenses and solves all your problems with the outside world - whether you lose more than gain?
From extreme to extreme
The other extreme - absolute lack of jealousy. I now have in mind not simply absolute trust between a man and a woman - in couples, namely those love unions, that welcome boundless freedom from any obligations towards each other. This is usually declared as follows: we love each other, and everything else - is relevant only to the body. And husband is pleased to see his wife being pleased in the arms of several men - in fact he won’t be able to give her so much fun at the same time.
Pathological or «home» jealousy?
Such jealousy is a disease that leads to terrible consequences. Both sexes suffer from it equally. True, there are peculiar features of male and female jealousy. If a woman is ready to bear her jealousy for years, making “suspect’s” existence a sheer hell, man’s jealousy is spontaneous. It appears instantly, and can fade away also suddenly. However, consequences of such “fire” jealousy, as they say, can become “classic.” Such jealousy-disease is a special case. Psychiatrists usually see it as a symptom of a serious mental illness. “Household” jealousy is more common, it is familiar to every of us. Men are particularly inclined to it.
Causes of jealousy
What provokes men’s jealousy? It turns out, it is an eternal women’s desire to please. Everyone! Men perceive this as a desire to find another man. That, of course, hurts feelings. The more a man loves himself, the more jealous he is of his “half”. For this reason, some husband even does not like when a woman becomes a leader in a company of friends or at work. She can argue, inspire. She receives a barrage of compliments, but he … suffers.
What determines the degree of man’s jealousy?
The more selfish a man is, the stronger jealousy wounds him - it is an axiom. He starts unconsciously looking for his flaws. Brings themselves to “the boiling point.” He even cannot think of being changed on someone else. That’s when the “torture chamber” appears: where you are you going? Why did you choose this dress? When will you return? You will go nowhere!
Naturally, the level of personal culture, degree of desire for leadership in a family also affect external manifestations of male jealousy. One will torture his wife with suspicion. Another might hit and kill. Casually. In a heat of passion, for example.
Everything has its limit
In fact, jealousy is dangerous, because it can result in any consequences, yes, moreover, from a medical point of view, it is extremely harmful. Doctors proved that in a scale of men’s stresses, wife’s physical betrayal (and hence jealousy) is classified as the most staggering blow. By force, it is like a stress due to the death of a loved one. At the time of the outbreak of jealousy, a hormonal “cocktail” that includes hormone vasopressin, which increases blood circulation to muscles is thrown out in blood.
If your jealousy is quiet, you can be diagnosed in a psychiatric hospital or, if you act in a state of passion - a term in prison. After all, nervous system does not hold super loads!
You can be jealous, you can even rage of jealousy, but no one but you will be able to look at the situation soberly, with the share of humor and say to yourself: “Am I not so sure of myself that I’m afraid of being abandoned? I am the only and unique for myself!”