Sooner or later she appears in our life and quietly, gradually and sometimes suddenly touches all that binds us with husband. Mother-in-low … Is it possible to get on well with her?

First he meets with you, cares, gives flowers, kisses your cheeks, hands and legs. And then once you receive her gradually. More precisely, his stories about her. Phone calls, requests, questions. Questioning about where her boy spends his money, how he eats and drinks. Emotions about his failed personal life and hints at a good girl Annie, which embodies a real man’s dream and, in a happy coincidence of circumstances, she is not yet married. In her 29, it is so surprising - you think nervously. And then, quite by accident, you answer the phone, when he is not at home. And she is there. His mom.

In the exploration

To get started you should find out what a dragon in sheep’s clothing you deal with. To do this you need information just one person may give to you. Your beloved is simply obliged to warn you about possible pitfalls in communicating with his mother.

So, if she is a single woman, you will have troubles. Think about the only pleasure in her home life - her sonnie, in common, your loved macho. Even if he has a dozen of brothers and sisters. And then you appear to claim to his uniqueness and originality, and, naturally, a son begins to give a mother much less time, than before. That is, you are an enemy number 1.

If she is a married lady, everything is easier. She will likely not be hasty to make conclusions about you without consulting her husband, and dating test will fail in only one case: if they merge in the ecstasy of outrage. In addition, charming a man is much easier, than pleasing a woman.

Business-woman is not easy to communicate with. She has seasoned opinion, is able to quickly assess a person and feels any falsehood in your voice. Especially if you are a housewife, and do not care about dollar and prospects of stock market. Think about topics for a possible conversation, they should be neutral, not relating to any of her professional duties, nor your recipes of shortbread.

If she is a homely woman, do not mention that you hate washing dishes, do not know how to make soup from sterlet, and, in general, at heart, do not respect sterlet and morally condemn them. Remember about wonderful cakes your mother bakes, and say you cannot cook as delicious, as she. Forget about last week’s burnt burgers.

Now you should get information on any sharp corners, which you can stumble out of ignorance. If, for example, his mother is faddish about future daughter’s relatives, it is better not to raise this issue during the first conversation. But also do not declare that you are an orphan right off the bat.

Fine point: if your young man was already married, ask what was the relationship between his ex-wife and mother. If she was a «pure angel», you will have troubles. But if she was a tyrant and despot, and relationship with his mother was rather bad - rejoice and tabor. Against this backdrop, mom will think that even a crocodile in the muzzle is friendly and nice. What’s really there to talk about such intelligent and beautiful girl, like you. All will be easy, if you speak right in a decisive battle.

Outfit

Think about image. If a well-bred young man takes a girl with green hair and black lips at home, his mother will have a stroke. This is not our goal, is not it?

It is better to choose something modest, but original. And, most importantly, appropriate for the event. It is better to clarify the uniform not to look like a hapless Bridget Jones, with her rabbit tail on a party of beauties and vicars. Do not pretend you are a gray mouse.

Therefore, the strategy is simple. Daily make-up, no red lips and vulgar manicure. If your nails are longer than 5 millimeters, do not use bright paint, otherwise she will think “Oh, well, she certainly does not cook, wash, iron, and she is not a mistress. How my boy will live with her?” It is preferably to forget about transparent clothing, otherwise his father will think you play with him, but mom will say you are defiantly obscene.

Moment of Truth

So it has come. After three hours of preparation, fitting, make-up and several days of stress. To begin with, smile. The point is that she is nervous exactly the same as you. It is quite likely that this event within is a week’s catastrophe for her. Be friendly and charming, smile and pretend you remember all presented people.

Do not call her «mom» since the first meeting. Your task is to reach diplomatic relations and avoid conflicts. In other words, behave kindly, and independently. Distract from your second half at the time, now not only he presents in your life, but also a woman who will be always invisibly present in your family.

Heart-to-heart

Be polite and attentive. Talking about your relatives in the fifth knee, do not flirt with your beloved, retouch lips or examine nails. Look at her, but do not drill with a look, listen with interest, insert relevant issues in the course of narration and emotional remarks, but do not go into details. Be ready to answer any questions. This is like the exam at the institute: you can begin to respond to the ticket, then gradually move to a discussion of weather, finish with a story of your poodle. And if you do this brilliantly, you will get “excellent”.

During conversation, avoid evaluative phrases, such as «Nightmare!», «I do not stand when they do so». Be neutral. Talking about your work, do not use specific terms. You’ll look super-professional, but will not get confidence and sympathy of the other person. Although, if you work in one area, the conversation will be interesting for you both.

You felt she would like to chat? Excellent. Now relax and enjoy. Remember that everyone is always pleasant to listen to himself. Let her speak in full, tell about all girls he was going to marry, her liver diseases, and Pope’s radiculitis. Do not argue. It is a taboo, particularly on the first day of acquaintance. If she says that Africa moved into Europe, mumble tactfully and pretend to be surprised. In the end, Africans will not know.

Remember the main principle of conversation: the main thing - to be able to listen. You can even ask to do a TV quiet, so that nothing could distract your attention from the talk. She will be glad.

If you decided to take her seriously, it is worth thinking about the hook. Take some videotape, with recorded graduation party of your groom, or a workbook. Naturally, you will need to return them on your own, rather than via him. Tell her about the recipe against radiculitis, recorded in the notebook. Unfortunately, you forgot to take a notebook, but you can call and dictate.

“Mom is going to us”

1. Remove everything that is wrong. While not excluding balcony, staircases, all cabinets, bathroom and toilet. Everything must shine like in the operating room. Do not forget to throw chops, they spoil kitchen interior.
2. Wash, iron, and hang all that is not washed, ironed and hung.
3. Create strategic food reserves. Do not forget about dessert and fruits. Inquire about her favorite tea or coffee brand, and offer them at the first opportunity.
4. Simulate an image of intellectual mistress. Hide your detectives, or replace them with a «Book of tasty and healthy food». Leave «Illustrated history of modern culture» on a table.
5. Smile. Smile. Smile.

In general, that’s all the simple strategy. All was not so scary, is not it? Your future mother-in-law is the same person as you, with same fears and doubts. And finding approach to her is possible. And the most important commandment is: relatives should be loved from afar, the farther - the stronger.