Whether you happened to be in situations, when a young man you like could not start or continue a conversation at all? Yes? Well, in that case we suggest you to palm off this article to him, so that he would at least start to work over a problem.

We do not learn his at school and at home usually… And earlier, by the way, a program of training for noble family children included these questions necessarily – on a level with dances and etiquette. And it was even necessary to pass an examination!

So, what to speak with a girl about? First of all, think what you already know about this girl. If you knew her for a long time already – a situation is easier. Just think about what she is interested in – and ask her opinion on this subject. In general, questions are an ideal way to receive a lot of information, including things she expects from and the ones you should not do. You just should be able to listen – that is to show attention and really penetrate into things she tells.

If you have something in common – acquaintances, study/work, etc. – suggest to discuss this aspect. It is very healthy, if you are interested in her life, a girl will estimate such attention (just do not ask at once questions on private life).

To start a conversation on any theme, you can give out a small slice of information by yourself, for a priming, just watch, that it was more or less authentic. Thus take your time categorically to state personal relation – if a question is basic for you, leave it for the future, when both of you are assured you really understand each other completely adequately. The matter is that a person is usually inclined to add to the things he heard/saw some elements giving apprehended integrity in his own picture of the world. And this is so habitual, that tracing words  an interlocutor told particularly, is not so is simple – especially if there are concrete expectations of things he would not like to hear.

A known experiment with translation is a good example: translators take seat at a round table, each of them knows language of his neighbour at the left, and translate a phrase in a circle. Text very far from the original usually comes back to the first one. Psychologists proved that similar mechanism works also in at dialogue in one language, this is just not so noticeable.

If nothing household-general comes to your head, it is possible to look on a situation. Probably, something in a girl’s image will prompt you a sphere of her interests (a book in hands; ice-axe, sticking out of a backpack – it would be amusing; a doggie on a lead …).

And the most simple variant – just touch “eternal” themes. Following topics can be considered eternal:

• music (what she listens to, what is pleasant/not pleasant to her, why);
• literature (what is pleasant/not pleasant to read, what hero is pleasant/not pleasant, why, how would she act in a place of such hero in such situation, in the world of what book she would like to appear, etc.);
• sports (be cautious! It is better to start with questions about preferences, instead of «are you going to an exercise room?» unless a girl’s figure causes such assumptions);
• favourite/not favourite places in a city (if you live in the same city);
• work/study (if there is a desire to develop this theme), pets;
• philosophical questions (if there are bases to assume that it can be interesting to a girl – corresponding level of general development) etc.

BUT! We advise to try building a conversation with a girl the way it was not similar to an interrogation, just live easy conversation. For this purpose it is convenient to tell at first, for example, something about yourself, your predilections, interests – and then ask a girl’s relation to the same topic. If you also wish to communicate with this girl  in future– insert therein a story about your own hobbies and abilities. For example, if you like going by bicycle, it is quite good to mention that you can somehow keep her company (if she is able) or teach her. If speech is about read books – suggest to esteem something from interesting, an ideal variant – continuation of a book she read, or something she searched for a long time. In general, show imagination aside «what I can offer to interest her». One more “trick” – ask not about reality, but rather about perception, thoughts, dreams …

And still … if after a long (or not so long) conversation on any theme you felt you have discussed it comprehensively – usually during this moment you hear a pause, awkward silence – smoothly give another turn to your conversation.

And now a little about things you should not do. First of all it is not necessary to say lies. Neither in any kind and nor under any sauce. First, a unique way not to get confused in invented stories – not to invent them (well unless you are a professional scout, but then you know about what and how to talk to a girl). Besides, it is not known how your word will be responded, and starting up gossips is the last business. Certainly, you can tell fairy tales, parables, retell a book or create it directly here and now – just watch that finally all this was not accepted in good faith. Because a conscious deceit is what girls usually do not forgive. However, they also forgive irresponsible seldom.

Also it is not necessary to advertise yourself actively. It is uninteresting for a girl to listen about your coolness, as is not clear, how to answer it adequately. Basically there is nothing to cope, and if you need sincere admiration – it is won not through words. So instead of telling how many kgs you can lift, lift on a girl on your hands (when this is pertinently on a situation) and this will be much more effective.

It is not advised to praise highly a girl too actively – as you will again put her in an awkward position. She is hardly assured of herself on all 100 %,  so there is a high probability that repeating compliments will be apprehended as a sneer.

If you communicate with a girl as with a girl, not a friend in a skirt, it is not necessary to discuss other girls with her. It is simply unpleasant to her, irrespective of a key of a conversation. Exception – a girl-psychologist or if her trade/hobby allow to discuss others in a professional key (so, it is quite admissible to discuss passing by lady with a girl-hairdresser).

It is not necessary to discuss also her/your relatives and financial position – at least, not on the first appointments. It will be more pleasant to a girl, if you show she is a personality for you – instead of «rich daddy’s daughter», for example.

And the most important thing you should not do is going in cycles in any instruction, including this one. Because there are no universal recipes, after all girls are different. So pay attention first of all to how she reacts to your words – and she will prompt you about things to speak.