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This word-combination is familiar to you? And maybe even applicable? What to do with it? Wish to talk about it?
A lot is written about middle age crisis. And still many do not perceive this problem seriously. As a rule, it occurs exactly until this condition strikes directly on sceptics. Here you forget about irony, attempts to understand and somehow cope with crisis take away many soul powers and, unfortunately, often do not give desirable effect. Crisis can lead to heavy depressions, destruction of long-term marriage. Relentless statistics says that majority of terminated marriages comes on notorious man’s middle age, 38-40 or 41-46 years. But, on the other hand, this period can become time of self-knowledge and revaluation of values, finding worldly wisdom. Let’s try to understand the essence of middle age crisis and possibilities of its overcoming together.
Symptoms
It is not necessary to wait for a “fatal” mark of 40 years with horror. Approach of this period is individual, it can begin at different age and proceed differently. Nevertheless, it is possible to allocate some general signs which are characteristic for the come crisis.
If your husband became irritable, dissatisfied and grew fond of abusing whole world, thus repeating that he himself represents nothing, be on the lookout. Probably, it is simply banal weariness, but it also can be a first sign of beginning crisis. Also throwings, new, uncharacteristic for him and often youth hobbies, speech which reminds your son’s speech more, are symptomatic for a man. Attempt to become another person extends on everything, from clothes to behaviour manner. Mood swing also becomes frequent and polar, as well as in teenagers, irritability and heart-searching attacks alternate energy and fun splashes. Separately these factors are not disturbing yet, easy attacks of melancholy happen with everyone. But all these signs in aggregate, throughout long time allow to diagnose – middle age crisis, crisis of the middle of a life.
Psychologists assert that crises pursue a person throughout all his life and are an original examinations on adulthood. The first crisis, independence crisis happens at the age of 3 years. Then they allocate teenage age, which is also a crisis for a formed person. Psychologists date crisis of the first maturity at 30-33-35 years of a life. Following – crisis of the middle of a life, age of new identity. After that those, who successfully coped with crisis or did not experience it at all, enter a period of emotional stability, maturity and self-return. But recently psychologists start to allocate one more crisis – crisis of ambitions. It overtakes young men in 22-28 years and is connected first of all with weight of professional realisation.
The reasons
It is possible to name a principal cause of middle age crisis - a man starts to analyze past and reflect on future. In itself it is rather quite good, but for many people these reflexions lead to sensation of crash of all reached. There are reflexions about age, that life is short, time leaves. If a man became a parent early, their children, who have grown to this time, force them feeling their not young years even more sharply. In a combination to thoughts on real or invented inconsistency it forms truly a rattling mix. Here also begin feverish attempts to prove associates that he is till young, attempts to change situation, having replaced everything, from family to a kind of activity.
Middle age crisis happens not only at men. All these throwings are also familiar to women not by hearsay. However, such woman’s crisis happens much earlier, and in case with female sex psychologists speak about «crisis of thirty years» more often. As a whole symptoms are the same, but if a man thinks on his solvency and achievements, a woman is more worried about leaving youth. Nevertheless, a woman also suffers from discontent, searches ways of self-expression, and modern business ladies opposite, suffer from absence of family, loved person.
How to overcome?
Any illness is easier to warn, than cure. Middle age crisis also can be prevented or you can at least avoid its radical displays.
First of all it is necessary to watch a man’s professional work. To be interested in his affairs, pay his and your attention to his achievements. If special achievements are not observed, it is impossible to speak about it with a man, cultivating thereby a loser’s image. Make emphasis that he is engaged in favourite business and is a good expert in the area. Do not suppose reexhaustions on work. Even if your spouse is a big chief, stably persuade him on small, but full rest. Leave far away from all affairs, all problems, do not take mobile phones and do only what you will want.
Never and under no circumstances tell a phrase «these are other years». It is a psychological trap, which both men, and women get to. Do not explain a changed state of health by years. Explain it by a life rhythm, ecology, hard work, be surveyed in due time, but do not write off all on age. Otherwise you will not avoid thoughts on leaving youth and lived half of life, and this can provoke crisis.
If crisis has already come, a woman should remember about: patience and wisdom. Talk to your husband, support him, do not be jealous without reason, but start to take care of yourself with redoubled zeal. Remember, you may go farther and fare worse. And if your loved one nevertheless launched into dissipation, know that all the same relentless statistics says that in half of cases a year or two from now a husband comes back in his family nest.
In case of thirty years crisis, councils for a woman are similar. Prove in word and deed to your wife that she is intelligent and beauty. For a while incur the most part of house affairs on yourself and allow your spouse registering in any courses or being engaged in work. Arrange one more honeymoon or celebrate wedding once again: with a dress, flowers, visitors.
When middle age crisis is already behind, a person starts looking at life in another way. And if he passed this examination on adulthood with honour, worldly wisdom, emotional warmth and strong family, which passed fire, water and copper pipes, will be an award to him. A new view on the world and understanding of true vital values will allow taking pleasure wholly in each afternoon of maturity.
