7545_infant_1.jpgWhen my husband buries in my breast, looks enquiring from below upwards and claps eyelashes innocently, – my heart is happy (non-realised parental instinct), but when he makes a helpless gesture and informs about another failure and impasse from which there is no exit with an anguish, my mind sounds alarm and refuses to believe that my MAN says ALL THIS.

Well, ferment for the next family scandal: shouts, charges in ruthlessness, callousness, dullness, awkwardness and other-other from both sides.

- You cannot think strategically! You do not know how to increase incomes, without accumulating debts!

- If you are so clever, show me your million! A wife should support her husband in everything, instead of finishing him during most difficult moments!

In rigid and sometimes terrible verbal dismantlings we “are sewn up” to such degree that do not talk for weeks later. Until everyone solves a situation and hangs out a flag of truce.

However, the reason is always one – my man wants banal – that I regret him in a difficult minute (this adds hum forces and confidence), and here on you – shout, nonsense and charges in inconsistency. And I’m just stuck in the middle, yes, yes, I admit fairly: how it happened that head of my family does not know what to do? Who, if not him? Me?! After all, a man is always a wall, a stone so on. To hide, count, trust and live happily … I was learnt this!!! And he received not enough love?

Stuffy guesses
I am assured, heart masters (those that live in guilty bodies and do not allow getting off from a right way) – psychologists – would sum up our family scandalous tradition at once. They would grin, write out a diagnosis and, good luck, - forward, to perfection. But we are dark people. We measure living IQ through our clours. One exclude each other mutually, others, having tested (read: quarrelled) thoroughly, admire “clours” till old age, forgiving everything and knowing no grief. And meanwhile nobody cancelled a problem of infantilism of both sexes.A rhetorically-justificatory phrase emerges continually in different corners of the Internet and on pages of yellow and rather bleached press: «We all come from childhood!»

Tell me who brought you up, and I will tell, who you are!
Thus a complete family tree, notes from criminal past and a track record of dividends are not required! All is extremely simple: mum or daddy (or together)?! Even if your beloved carries camouflage, is two metres tall and forces a walking policeman down by a spittle, this does not mean he is a gallant guy and will carry you, fragile creation, on his huge hands (muscles allow!) for the rest of your life. Yes, he is a big fellow. But he is really a BIG FELLOW, as he was brought only by a mother. Yes, she fed, cherished, cared, wiped up snivels. She is a MOTHER! Everyone do this! He is the most intelligent, talented, strong, enviable groom (even if he is already almost 50!) . And YOU got everything!!! From own uniqueness, latent or obvious mother’s darlings’ self-estimation reads off scale and deprives you of it at all. So what? Now everything is meant for him! Yours talented! Also just dare to have your own female opinion on this subject. When you become a mother, then you will look, how it is …

The tragedy of a century consists only in the fact that it is difficult to find not mother’s darlings now. At first wars took fathers away, leaving education of rising generation to mothers. Now stunning statistics of early divorces is on turn. Modern emancipated women bring up sons basically equally. In love and permissiveness (he grows without father!).

Learn to live with it?
Or choose another, third one? How to act — you will ask, thereby having discouraged an author. How to reconcile to a situation that everyone around — children. Ones on expensive autos, and others — on a tricycle or even on foot, wandering around court yard. How to accustom to responsibility for a family, for yourself, eventually! How to lean against a man’s shoulder  without being afraid? How, how?

Men themselves advise … to bring up them. Yes, yes, do not laugh! However, some men — fair and frank. Others abuse women, accusing of bitchiness. As no matter how banal (and regrettable) it may sound, but our world has enough damned wretches and mollies resistant to correction. However, no matter how many councils and schemes of immediate action we have, everyone defines risk and safety measure degree for himself. To reconcile, be forgotten, leave or distract …

The most true and reliable way, not even a way, but only the first step, — is old as the world — to put yourself in a place of an irritable subject! Not just put on a pedestal and exclaim: «Ha! Yes, I would cope in a trice! I would do this and that. And he … e-eeh …». But to consider all conceivable and inconceivable “makeweights”. Surrounding people, factors, backgrounds…

Each of us should be a psychologist in some way. Even if you do not want, if it is unbearable.