Sometimes excessive love to a child leads to his spoiled character due to surplus or even overabundance of love and tenderness. How to not admit it?

The most important rule: certainly love your child, but do not also forget following rules:

Rule 1

Do not interfere with business a child is occupied with, if he does not ask about help. Through your non-interference you inform him: «You are all right! You certainly will consult!»

Rule 2

If a child feels really difficult, and he is ready to accept your help, help him necessarily. Thus: - incur only those things he cannot execute by himself, give him to do the rest! - in the process of a child’s development of new actions transfer them to him gradually.

Rule 3

Gradually and steadily remove care and responsibility for your child’s private affairs from you and transfer them to him!

Rule 4

Allow your child meeting negative consequences of this actions (or inactivity). Only then he will mature and become “conscious”!

Rule 5

If a child has an emotional problem, you should listen to him “actively”!

Rule 6

If your child’s behaviour causes “negative” feelings and experiences in you, simply inform him about it in the form of “I-statement”!

Rule 7

Delete «12 hindrances» from a dialogue with your child as much as possible - habitual or automatic reactions: orders, commands; preventions, threat; morals, etc.!

Rule 8

Commensurate own expectations with possibilities of your child. Do not demand impossible or difficult things from him. Instead look at what you can change in surrounding conditions!

Rule 9

Do not appropriate your child’s emotional problems!

Rule 10

Rules (restrictions, requirements) should necessarily present in each child’s life, but: - they should not be abundant and it would be very good that they would be flexible; - parental requirements should not enter in obvious contradiction with a child’s major requirements; - rules (restrictions, requirements, interdictions) should be co-ordinated by adults among themselves; - tone in which requirements or interdiction are informed, should be rather in a friendly explanatory way, than imperative!

Rule 11

Rules and consequences should be formulated simultaneously!

Rule 12

It is necessary to apply sanctions, instead of punishment!

Children are learnt by what surrounds them! (pay attention to how you communicate in your circle and how people-associates of your child communicate)

If a child is often criticised - he learns to condemn.

And when a child is often praised - he learns to estimate.

If a child is often shown animosities, he learns to fight.

When you are usually fair with your child - he learns justice.

If a child is often derided - he learns to be shy.

When a child lives with feeling of safety - he learns to trust.

And if a child is often dishonoured - he learns to feel guilty.

At frequent approval a child starts always treating himself good.

If you are often indulgent to your child - he learns to be patient.

When a child is often encouraged, he learns self-trust.

If a child lives in atmosphere of friendship and feels necessary, he learns to find love in this world!

Well, now you know the most simple and important things for establishment of good and kind relations between you and your child, which were told by a psychologist. Be happy and do not disturb your child’s happiness!